Short jokes
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Post your jokes in the comments below!
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
Orphans: Sad, Depressed, Lonely, Virgin.
Orphan
Girl: How much do you love me?
Me: Count the stars in the sky.
Girl: Aww, it's infinite!
Me: No, just a waste of time.
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.