Short jokes
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What did mum say when grandpa called?
Boomerang.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stop.
Stop who?
Stop posting stupid orphan jokes that have been posted on this site 10 times before!
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Killua is hot, why?
He's gay.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.