Short jokes
I stole one's balls.
Someone stole my balls :(
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What do rapists like to suck?
The life out of their victim.
Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!