Short jokes
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
These jokes are so dark that their life matters.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!