Short jokes
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
"Baka Johnny, fat baka."
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
What does "the whole pile of poops" mean?
"The whole pile of shits."
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.