Short jokes
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
I say what Kay’s jesjejejeeuedeeeeeeee.
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.