Short jokes

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.

You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.

Are there support groups for men?

Twinkle, twinkle little star. I hope I'll get hit by a car. I am not dead yet, I hope I'll die. I hope I'll be born to a new whole life.

Dulux have created a new type of paint. It's called "Sue Grey." It covers up everything.

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.