Short jokes
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
Yo mama so fat that every time she takes a swim, the Arctic sinks by a mile!
My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.
I’ll be hanging with them for a while.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
I got jealous when my phone dies.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
What is the difference between a hooker and a feminist?
If you want a hooker to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
Yo mama so fat that Will Smith could slap her from a mile away.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!