Short jokes
I swear your eyebrows have attachment issues, they're touching right now.
What has only one sense of style?
An emo girl.
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
What's wrong with Asian pet stores?
There's no pets.
Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.
A man in Saudi Arabia was caught stealing hand sanitiser.
The silver lining for him is that he will not need hand sanitiser anymore!
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.