Short jokes
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why is falone mentally disabled?
Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
Why did the topless woman shout, "Stop raping us?"
Because she was uneducated.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
Why did the orphan like milk?
Because their parents went to get milk and never came back!