Short jokes
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.
I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.