Short jokes
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
Stfu.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!