Short jokes
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Why do they act so emo?
Because they are all retards.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Comment your favorite sport.
Like this if you are in foster care.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?
They’re cheetahs!
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.