Short jokes
"Hey, don’t take my toy! What are you going to tell your parents?"
"Goodness, that's what Post Malone sounds like?"
"Give me some pre-Malone hip hop any day!"
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What’s the only reason Emos drink?
To get hungover.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Top G advice: You’re either a smart fella or a fart smella.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.