Short jokes

300? You are a 3.0.

What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.

What do you call a vagina with teeth?

A vicious cunt.

Hey girl, are you an orphan?

Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.

Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

We love Russia, we do.

Oh, Russia, we love you! 🇷🇺

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.

What do a stool and an emo have in common?

They both sit still.

I always wear Puma, put my balls in your mouth.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

How did Princess Diana die?

Giving the glove box head.

Why is Death the world's biggest slut?

Death gets to f*** everyone.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.