Short jokes

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

What's the fastest thing on earth?

An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.

"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

"What type of book is it?"

"An autobiography."

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.

Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.

Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?

It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.

I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

What is an army member's top drink?

WARter.

What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?

SPACE.

What creature takes the most medicine?

Caterpillar.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.

Are you a building?

Cuz I rate you 9/11.

I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD