Short jokes

POV: Your mum is a bomber.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.

Chloe Lutwyche, Bella Battese, and Hayley Wilson.

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Puss.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...

You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.

Have you heard of Wendy's?

Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?

Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.

"Me tells dad joke often."

"I want to hear it."

"Me? You wouldn't get it."

Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!

Mom: Exactly.

Alles tut weh.

Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Putin's Brain: