When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
*walks into sex shop*
Hello. I would like to buy 1 sex, please.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
