Shop jokes
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
Why can't orphans go to Costco?
Because it's a family shop.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
What is the legal term for shoplifting?
10 fingers discount.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
My forehead blew up because I saw yours at the forehead shop!
Why don't Pakis play football? Every time they get a corner, they build a shop.
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."