Shop jokes
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
Geowipp Grand Prize. And the CHOICE OF FOOD IS INSANE. We love him and we love him.
August is a guy from one of the shops, and we became a sundwich durk through Habin. We have GOT GO GO, IT WAS GRAT. That's why. But we don't do everything.
An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?
Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?