Shooting jokes
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
My best friend was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one.
Mr. Beast challenge in Memphis be like: last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?