Shooting

Shooting jokes

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

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  • In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.

    I was gonna go to a shooting gallery, but I realized that schools aren't open on Sundays.

    One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."

    Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"

    A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

    And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

    What is the difference between an American and a computer?

    An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.

    What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

    My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

    If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

    So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!

    Teachers at a school shooting be like: damn it. That's the third one this week and it's only Monday.

    A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

    Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

    The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

    The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

    He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

    The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

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  • I got kicked out of the hospital for saying, "Stay Positive," to the corona patients.