October jokes

When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.

Why can’t October fool April?

Because only April fools.

Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?

A: What.

"Chelsea is the most consistent team.

One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.

If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅

October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.

Tis the season to be spooky.

September 11, bring your plane to work day.

That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...