Simone

Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?

A: Downey.

Yo momma so dumb, the doctor wanted to give her a blood transfusion but she said no because she thought it would turn her trans.

I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.

Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?

Shoo Ting.

Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?

A. The Hunger Games.

Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?

It's called the Ep-bean.

Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?

A: An Epstein pen.

Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?

A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.

Yo momma's an ICE agent!

Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?

A. To organize his thots.

You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

I think DJT has FTD.

My friend is a pimp.

I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.

What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.