She jokes

I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"

She replied, "Two or three."

Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

She asked:

"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"

So my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.

So I told her a ‘single’ joke. Then she said, "Go and f***ing die, you insensitive bitch!"

I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF I will break his body for you. Happy now?"

She said, "Sniff, yes."

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

Who was the first carpenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

What do you call Jamieilyah when she is sleeping?

Sleeping Beauty.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Why did the astronaut return to Earth?

She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.

Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."

"Oh, cool."

"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."

"Makes sense."

"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

"Where’s Trump’s clock?"

"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."

And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.