The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
She Jokes
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
HAIKU JOKE:
Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"
