She jokes

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Candy

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.

    Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.

    Joe mama

  • Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.

    Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

    Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

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    Rapist

  • What's the difference between me and a rapist?

    He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.

    She was just 7 years old.

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  • Bedtime

  • Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

    Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

    Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

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    Prank

  • Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!

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    Funeral

  • I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

    And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

    And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

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  • Man

  • Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

    Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

    Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

    Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

    What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

    What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

    What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

    How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

    What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

    What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

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    Eye

  • Why did Sally get a black eye?

    Because she tried to play patty cake.

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  • Marijuana

  • I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.

    So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!

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  • Giraffe

  • Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

    Teacher: 203

    Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

    Teacher: You can't.

    Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

    How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

    Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

    Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

    The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

    Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

    Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

    Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

    Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

    Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

    Sally dies anyway, how?

    Teacher: She frowned?

    Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

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