She jokes

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?

She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?

She was drunk.

I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.

Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.

My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.

Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!