She jokes
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Yo mama so fat, she got more rolls than the sand dunes.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
Yo mama so fat, she plays ping pong with the planets.
Tj if you don't stop trying to ruin Gwen and Prince's relationship then I will scream!!!!!!!!!!
It's some dumb faker and what point of she just wants to be your friend do not understand!
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."