She jokes

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

What is a yellow dog Libertarian?

A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She forgot to put her seatbelt on.

Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."

How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?

Because she runs away from balls.

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

Yo mama so fat, she crosses every border.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"