She jokes

Yo mama so fat, she blocked my internet connection.

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.

Why did Sally fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally!

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

What did Sally do when she got home?

Cry because she has no arms.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.

The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."

"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.

"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.

Your mama's so fat, she needed NASA to make her ID card!

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

Yo momma so dumb, she failed movie day.

Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."