She jokes
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought Bruno Mars was a planet!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.