Sex jokes

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

What do you call a dino stripper?

A dinohore.

Why did the pervert cross the road?

'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.

What hangs low?

Balls.

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

My cock, lmao.

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?

The cowgirl.

What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?

Your mom finishes.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

Why does the large dildo not have any friends?

He's a pain in the ass.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

Why did the prostitute lose all her money?

Because she got f*cked.