What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Sex Jokes
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
Official orgasm donor.
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Eat my ass!
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
