Sex jokes
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
Hi there guys, I have no jokes, buy.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.