When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
Sex Jokes
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
