I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till i realized it is a family buisness
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.
Little Johhny is walking around and peaks in his parents room, catching them having sex so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! we’re just uh, making cake” and they send him away. So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brothers room so he walks in and catches his brother and his brothers girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! were making cake!” So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! Howd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, “Hey, Don’t finish yourself until I get back.” After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. “Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!” Gary turns to him and says, “I didn’t, I farted.”
A guy is at home and he’s about to go get a physical at the Doctor’s office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, “Brian, you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, “So I can examine you!”
why did cinderella get kicked out of disney land because she sat on Pinocchios face and said lie bastatd lie
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.
Today I was asked to go out, by 20 girls. – I was in the women’s bathroom.
Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection
A fake name and fake phone number.
many years of sex in the dark. The wife find out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says “explain the dildo prick” the husband says “explain the children bitch”!
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Why don’t they teach sex ed and drivers ed on the same day in the middle east? Because they don’t want to wear out the camel.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you’re dad came.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding, but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.
sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
He only comes once a year
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.