Sex Jokes

having sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection

A fake name and fake phone number.

One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr Jones's class. Mr Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill. Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr Jones's lesson. Mr Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill"

why did cinderella get kicked out of disney land because she sat on Pinocchios face and said lie bastatd lie

"Son, I found a condom in your room."

"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"

"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"

"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’

Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.

A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"