Sex jokes
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Memes
Your face with my cum.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
Why'd I cum all over your mummy's panties? 'Cause she's hot af.
LOLOLOOLOLLOL
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
Pussy = drugs.
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.