Sex jokes
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Your face with my cum.
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Penis.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.