Sex jokes
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Eat my butt.
Fuck off!
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
I sucked a dick.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
you.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.