Sex jokes
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Your face with my cum.
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Wife: I want to deep throat your dick.
Husband: let’s do this.
Wife: April foogjhmgkjgyukgyukfygkutkutkygfku5t!
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
Penis.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!