Self jokes
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
I'm autistic.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like? Go look in the mirror.
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
I'm fucking retarded.
I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
Yourself.
If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...
"Lazy."