Self jokes

What's great about an emo pizza?

It cuts itself. Yay!

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

I love myself.

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?

Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!

Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.

Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)

Aren't I badly good?

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.

I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.

I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

A self-fie.

It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.

I am funny.

We all hear cause we cut ourselves, right? I mean, JK.

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

What do you call an orphan fish?

Self-ish.