New Self Harm Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a depressed tree? A wood cutter

Someone said to stop hurting myself but I'm still trying to cut me arms off

My mom asks "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK-"

I don't know what an hd is, but my doctor says I have 80 of em'

i dont struggle with depression, im used to it

What's the difference between my arm and legs? Nothing I slit both of them

My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all and If i could borrow it.

Wow- didn't know little jhony jokes were so dark- Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about sucide, sex and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well I don't really know if there actually are- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes- Even chin jokes. :⁠^⁠))

and slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^⁠_⁠^

i was in cooking class and my teacher said - does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?

me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

long story short the teacher understood the joke and now we are both in daily therapy 😭💀

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option, self harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

Bros got barcode arms

I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday

my pencil sharpener when i bleed: aAnd i dont really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't I do it myself

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)