Self Harm jokes

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

Are you a knife? Because I want you.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

What's an Emo's least favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

What kills you?

Suicide.

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

What do you call an emo that cuts too deep? Gushers.

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

I got them red Gucci bracelets.

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.