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Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.
After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”
The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”
Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?
Because it was rated ARRRR.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Why can't Asians do word searches?
They can't see the words.
Wanna see my pp again?
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!