See jokes

What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?

They both see things they shouldn't.

Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

There's nothing I like more than seeing a politician in a nice suit.

An orange jumpsuit that is :)

My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.

So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.

Like, if you hate wearing a mask.

Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!

True story by the way.

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

I always press the stop button to see you.

Someone cutting the cheese then farted.

Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"

At 6, she wanted a happy mama.

At 8, she hated acting like a mom.

At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.

At 11, she wanted to see her mom.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Why couldn't the boy go see the pirate movie?

Because it was rated ARRRR.

Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

Wanna see my pp again?

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

What did the tower say to the other one?

I will see you later; I am about to get hit.

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?

To see his FUTURE in the STARS.

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?

Keep away from me-hee-hee.