A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.
She told her "Hey, long time no see."
How do you make an orphans hands bleed? Tell them to clap until they see there parents.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife? Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
me: so you two girls are from England girls: wales me: oh i see, so you two whales are from England
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises..
Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "everytime someone lies, it ticks once, Mother Terresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, " Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To get to the other side (suicide)
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road? To see his flatmate
what did the roman say to the gladiator?
see you later gladiator
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters? They both shoot when they see kids.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say "OH! That wasn't an dog."
Orange you glad to see me?
I walked to the milk store and did not see my dad.
What do you do when you see a a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going into circles
Opposite day be like in doors
Figure : finally I can see
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo I'm blind. Figure I'm sorry i made fun if u all those other times pls don't make fu. Of me
Figure: ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was spider man no way home
