What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest? You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid’s until he’s 13 years old.
Me:Help I'm stuck in a trap Friend:What kind? Me:It's called life, yeah I've been trying to get out of it for 6 years now, it just won't let me go. Friend:That's not funny.. Me:Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to. Friend:I'm calling your mom. Me:She knows. Friend:Whats she doing to help, then? Me:She's supposed to help? Friend:Have you told your dad? Me:I will when he comes back. Friend:Where is he? Me:I don't know he's been gone for 15 years. Friend:.... Me:What? Friend:Why? Me:Why what? Friend:Why would you joke like that? Me:I was joking.. Friend:I know. Me:Oh. I didn't know. Friend:... Me:Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow..Maybe..
Well a boy and a girl are in a bath tube together. The little boy says “Hey you see that I’m gonna go ask daddy what it is?” When the little boy asks his dad he says. “Well son that’s your car you try to park it in a girls parking spot.” As the boy runs back he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama that her spot was and she said. “Well that’s your parking spot never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back the little boy tried to put the car in well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well you see, when were you born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: doctor doctor i broke my leg The doctor said: i see...
are you a mirror,because i see myself in you
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I see a worm oh no its just your hairline
are you a red light because i stop every time i see you
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
One day I meet a blind guy and I said you should see Mt Cheaha
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fdalejonescomic%2Fstatus%2F993585285676941312&psig=AOvVaw3a0QTL4ocuGMs-w26p1ln7&ust=1652985525099000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAkQjRxqFwoTCLiBjojZ6fcCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD
my brother when he sees a girl
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
What does Cangaball do after eating it’s vegetables Go on eBay to see how much He can sell the Wheelchair for
Hellen Keller once said, ̈love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel ̈ but of course she said it like this ̈fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb ̈
