Bug fact jokes

Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."

They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."

Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?

Really?

Well, the one I fucked did.

Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?

Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?

Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.

Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.