Science jokes
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Stephen Hawking walks, I mean rolls into a bar.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Memes
Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...
I really need some new parts to my go-kart.
I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
When I said I wanted vegetable stew, I didn’t mean boil Stephen Hawking!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!