Science jokes

I like touching things that have been in space. I was super excited when I got to meet an astronaut.

When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Ha!

What is brown and sticky?

The leftovers of the iceberg.

How do you call an American bee?

USB.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.

Never mind.

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

What is Stephen Hawking's best side?

The left.

Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

When is the last time you picked up the phone?

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

The sun is fire.

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding!

Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

What makes a software developer feel rich?

Their cache.