Science jokes

What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!

I tried to think of how lighting works.

Then it struck me!

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

What did the sun say to the Earth?

"Am I hot?"

What planet has a butt? Uranus!

Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?

"No."

He hasn't too.

"Wheel" all miss him, right?

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Want to know why some astronomers are gay?

It’s because they want to be in Uranus.

I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"

Uranus is a gas giant.

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

How do planets have a baby?

They have spasex.

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!