Science jokes

The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far from the wall. The cord unplugged.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.

What planet has a butt? Uranus!

I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!

Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!

What did the sun say to the Earth?

"Am I hot?"

Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?

"No."

He hasn't too.

"Wheel" all miss him, right?

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

Uranus is a gas giant.

I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"

Want to know why some astronomers are gay?

It’s because they want to be in Uranus.

What's the definition of total chaos?

A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.

What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?

Jurassic Bark!

What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.

Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!