Science jokes
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Memes
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
What planet has a butt? Uranus!
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.