Science jokes
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
So I was on Google, and on my computer it had Windows. When Stephen Hawking died, it shut down, the shutdown sound played, and wouldn't turn on again.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.