Science jokes
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win no-bell prize!