Science Jokes

I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.

I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!

Why should you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

What do Steven Hawkins and the wicked witch both have in common?

If you throw water over them both, they both die...

Steven hawking walks into a bar oh, wait he doesn’t walk

The image shows a globe with the text: "FUN FACT: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown."

Why was Stephen hawking late to the NASA meeting He couldn't get up the kerb

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported

The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

There's a new horror movie about Steven Hawking

It's called unplugged 🤣

What's steven Hawking shampoo?

-Head and shoulders 😊

Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)

Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.