Science jokes
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His shoulder.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Memes
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Stephen Hawking: one hp (Fortnite)
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.