Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
