Science jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.