Science jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
Memes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.