Science jokes
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
intelgent
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.