Science jokes
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
intelgent
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box! 🚀📦😂
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
Yo forehead so big, NASA needed it for the new planet, stupid!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar.
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.