God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Yo mama so fat, NASA has a satellite orbiting around her.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
