Science jokes
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
Why is Stephen Hawking an organ donor?
Because he saved 200 computers!
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
What does NASA stand for? 🍝🧇🍝🧇🍝
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.