Science

Science jokes

Asteroid

When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!

Test

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

Autism

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

Memes

Steven Hawking

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

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  • Wife

    What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

    "Wait, I can explain everything!"

    School shooting

    Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?

    Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.

    Seizure

    How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

    He spills coffee on his iPad.

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  • Coffin

    What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

    Stephen Hawking's coffin.

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  • Chemist

    Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

    A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

    Chair

    Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.