Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
