Science jokes
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.