Science jokes
I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Memes
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.