Science jokes
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just killed?
Isaac Newton died a virgin!😎
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?